BP Top Kill: Epic Fail. also…Boycotting BP


” After three full days of attempting top kill, we have been unable to overcome the flow from the well.”

– Doug Suttles, COO, Global Exploration, BP


Top Killing the well  (btw, a method only tested in porn) by shooting thick mud into it was a bad idea and had a pretty low likelyhood of sucess.  BP has got to go down their environmental and profit protection plans, though.  We’ve seen domes and hats and siphons and now cum shots mud shots in BP’s slow progression tword reluctantly capping a well that they had hoped to continue using. We now know that within the first week of the spill BP was more concerned with not being able to continue to use the well rather than stopping the spill. So, they initally put themselves first and the environment and Gulf second. Yes, the last thing ANYONE wants is for you to have to destroy a “perfectly good well” to prevent a global crisis. That was some solid quick thinking in the face of disaster, BP!

Plus, Surprise! It isn’t just 5,000 barrels per day leaking 5,000 feet below the Gulf, but much much more, and conservative estimates have two million barrels on the way to the Florida Keys, over to Cuba’s pristine coral reefs, and already covering 65 miles of Louisiana shoreline.  

And now they say the NEW solution will likely have the leak slowed down, but still leaking ALL SUMMER LONG.

Another thing for us to keep in mind….Boycotting BP:

Alot of youngsters have been protesting BP at their gas stations, etc.  I think this is more damaging to the franchisee rather that the corporate giant, but I get why it should be done.  They are pushing the products of a company that should be avoided and if we all (or some of us) go to another provider it may send a message. Therefore its important that we all remember that BP sells products under the following names if your are choosing to boycott:

First, look for the helios symbol,  the  green and yellow sunflower pattern similar to the emblem of the Green Party of Canada. Ironically, they changed their logo to this to highlight the company’s interest in alternative and environmentally friendly fuels. Fuckwads.

BP and BP Amoco (Amoco changed its name to BP in 2000, but there are still some out there)

ARCO  (is BP’s retail brand on the US West Coast in the seven Western States of California, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Idaho, Arizona, and Utah.)

Castrol (the brand of motor oil and other lubricants which is entirely a BP brand but tends to retain its separate identity.)

If you feel strongly about this situation in the Gulf, or are just pissed that your shrimp cocktail will now cost $500 when you’re on vacation this summer, then you might consider avoiding the BP brands. Yes, yes, before some of you jump all over me….I do realize the fact that boycotts of oil companies seldom have an impact on their bottom lines….and the point is that human error can lead to disaster on any oil rig, owned by any company, at any time…its not like BP planned this. But they are effing up the clean-up effort and that pisses people off and makes them feel the need to do something.

Whats wrong here? (other than the giant font header)

Here is a real “police blotter” story from the suburbs of DC. This was printed in the Washington Post, so it’s not from some podunk news rag.  Can you find what’s wrong here?

Two Va. dogs die after eating poisoned meatballs

Fairfax County police are investigating the deaths of two dogs who ate toxic meatballs.

Police say animal control officers were called to a home in the 15100 block of Olddale Road in Centreville at about 5 p.m. Wednesday. A 5-month-old pit bull had eaten a meatball tainted with an unidentified toxic substance and became sick. Officers then found that a West Highland Terrier at a nearby home also had eaten a tainted meatball around the same time. Both dogs later died.

Officials say meatballs were found in the backyards of three neighboring homes. They say the meatballs are being tested at a local lab.

Police say residents should inspect their yards for unusual or suspicious items, and if they find any, they should call police right away.

  If you said “animal cruelty!”


 “Looks like some sicko has got it in for the dogs in the neighborhood”, you are correct.

 Did anyone else think…

“WTF?? Isnt the REAL story that there are random meatballs showing up in people’s yards? Sure, we can guess where they came from and why, etc.  But the story doesn’t even address the random meat!???? ”

Where was this part of the story?

“Random yard meat is a common occurence in Northern Virginia neighborhoods, so none of the residents were surprised to find the meatballs. Mrs. Gilbipple of Smitsville reported a small pile of fried asparagus and two large heaps of spaghetti with marinara on her back lawn, but since there were no meat products Fairfax police were not concerned.”

No Duuuuh. Some citizens are as dumb as BP.

Really guys? Well into week 6 (almost 7) of this ENVIRONMENTAL CATASTROPHE and you finally realize it a FUCKING ENVIRONMENTAL CATASTROPHE???!!!

No one should wonder why this entire thing is going horribly. BP is just a bunch of complete morons.  Its not off the coast of their beloved England, so who gives a fuck how slowly we respond, right?

On a very related note:

I have actuallly heard numbskulls here in the Washington DC area refer to this spill as “no big deal” and  say things like

“Ah…it’s really not going to have that huge of an impact. There are billions of gallons of water in the Gulf, a few million gallons of oil wont make a difference in the long run. Sure, it’s gonna be a mess now, but it’ll disperse….A few dead birds, it’ll be fine.”

(I swear I heard a guy saying this today! WTF?)

To these people I say this…in bold!

Lets do an experiment. Get in your bathtub and run a nice, full comfy bath. Maybe use some herbal crystals or bubble bath, really treat yourself right and set the mood for some serious relaxation. Then ease on in there and lay back for a few minutes. Ahhhhhh. Thats nice, isnt it? Soothing.

OK. Now take 3 bottles of 10W40 motor oil and pour them over your head. Now go back to relaxing.

What’s the problem? Its not the same? Hows that possible? We didnt really change anything, and those bottles of motor oil are hardly even 1/8 of the water in your tub…..OK fine. So relaxing bath is over.

You clean up and I’ll see you for dinner in 5 minutes. What do you mean you’ll need more time than that?

Head of Minerals Management Service leaves post (Shocker!)

 “Minerals Management Service Director Elizabeth Birnbaum resigned Thursday as head of the Interior Department’s scandal-plagued Minerals Management Service, the department’s chief said.”

Wow, who would have guessed? …can you hear the surprise in my voice?

Allegations of crystal meth-using inspectors, oil rigs being allowed to fill out their own inspection reports, BP greasing the slicks with gifts, dinners and vacations. Why would Director Birnbaum ever want to resign??????

Now Former Director Birnbaum had better hope that leaving her post will be enough to avoid any prosecution for her neglectful (could it be criminal? I don’t know…) time in this role.

Hey, you never know….maybe BP will hire you, Ms. Birnbaum!

Toddler smokes 40 cigarettes a day! No report on how much scotch he drinks.

   You can’t make this shit up. I thought the photo looked altered or faked, but once you see the video, you know its real.  Crazy stuff.  Mohammad Rizal is the picture of responsible parenting in Indonesia!

Check it out.

A video first released on YouTube yesterday and now circulated everywhere on the internet shows a 2-year old Indonesian boy smokes like an adult.Ardi Rizal

Ardi Rizal is said to smoke up to 40 cigarettes a day.  Ardi started smoking after he was given his first smoke when he was 18 months old.
His father Mohammad Rizal was cited by MSNBC as saying “He cries and throws tantrums when we don’t let him smoke. He’s addicted,” and “I’m not worried about his health, he looks healthy.”
Rizal is not the first smoking kid aught on video.  In March, a clip of a 4-year-old Indonesian boy blowing smoke rings also appeared on YouTube, a google service.
In Indonesia, up to 10 percent of children aged 2 to 15 tried to smoke cigarettes and 3 percent are real smokers, according to media reports.
Smoking cigarettes increases a number of diseases including atherosclerosis, hypertension, vascular disease, stroke, and tongue cancer, lung cancer, hum disease, osteoporosis, asthma attacks, diabetes, and Buergers disease among others.



  Well, I worked on a post on-and-off last week and never finished it. I will finish it up and post it anyway since I’ve got it. It covers the ongoing (but over for now) situation in Thailand. The basic jist of the post is is this:  Most of us “average” Americans, even here in the nations capital, don’t know what’s going on over in Thailand.

    For now lets take a look at some pictures of the lovely oil spill down in the Gulf. You know, I wonder what ever happened with that…..Did they ever plug that thing up? It’s still going on , you say?


(it’s the 6th week now……anyone gonna rattle BP’s cage yet?  No?  Yeah, I’m sure they will get it done some time in the next few years……  I’m sure they have the best intentions……..lets not worry.)

Time heals some wounds…

      Well, I’m proud to say that after a few months this blog now pops up before my old one when you do a Google search. This is good news and makes me feel better about things. I am still baffled about Blogger and the fact that no one within the entire Google/Blogger organization can assist me with my troubles, but thats to be expected when dealing with such a large and busy company.  I won’t call them “The Evil Empire” or anything…I reserve that kind of speak for the likes of Verizon, Comcast and a few other companies that are not only huge, but also do a terrible job with customer service and have violently agressive billing.  The gang at Google are doing the right thing…and to be honest, if I cared more I would have tried harder to get things straighten out….but I don’t and I didn’t….so I don’t really feel bad about it.  Its safe keeping of my blog and email for now, I suppose.

Like. Dislike.

Today I…


My genius wife and handsome kids.

Ted Leo & The Pharmacists Brutalist Bricks 

This Page & Tuttle jacket I’ve been wearing lately.

My friends.

The idea of being Vegetarian. This comes after buying 10lbs of meats this weekend (WTF are you doing, Drue?) 

My friends who may take issue with some of the Dislikes, but are smart enough to understand that I’m not talking about them.

The Jam. underrated.

Facebook….for now.

That I planted my garden this weekend. I’m 75% there…

Johnny Turtle


The dry cough (possibly from allegies) I’ve been suffering from the past 11 days.

Tea Parties (the ones where tea is served)

Tea Parties (the ones where hate is served)

I still dislike the guy at the Juice Joint Cafe in DC (Vermont & L, NW) His unwillingness to obtain the proper permit from the city for outdoor seating, and therefore his continued lack of outdoor seating, is just the latest chapter in the dissolution of our business-patron relationship. I’m still very aware of whats going on with him…he’s too cheap to get the permit, but now has seen a business downturn with the nicer weather – so he responded by staying open later. Clearly this isnt working, since the new place I’ve been going is BOOMING. Juice-man, you are my petty dislike!!

Sarah (Anita Bryant) Palin

Arizona Immigration Laws

My current internet connection.

Have I mentioned the cough and the juice guy?

Magazines You’ve Never Noticed Before!

 From my DC neighborhood newstand!

 -Take it Slow: Crosswords for the Mentally Handicapped

– MarineLog: Making #2 at sea for 35 years

-Arthur Magazine: For happy drunks with no pretensions or any ambition!

Kiplinger’s Hot Chick Report

– Acreage: A magazine for rural living

Bangkok Hooker Aficionado (Capitol Hill exclusive edition is still available)

-Starving Artists: Where art comes from the heart, and a desperate need to pay college loans.

– Clean Rooms: The authoritative source on contamination control.

– Deviant! (this month features Sarah Palin’s dog groomer (?) )

– Machete Wielding Pyromaniac Digest presents: Slash and Burn!

– CrackAddict: The ultimate hands-on guide to everything immediate, extremely pleasurable, and painfully brief.

– Maxium presents: ISNQPBID!  (It’s STILL Not Quite Porno, But It’ll Do)