The Rapture Is / Is Not Funny

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this, by now you’ve no doubt heard that  “Judgment Day” is coming this Saturday, May 21.  According to the biblical calculations of Harold Camping and the folks at Family Radio, in a mere five days, Jesus will return (!) and set into motion a six-month count down to the end of the world.

Normally  a story like this one, particularly on the topic of religion,  would lead me to write punch lines in hopes of scoring cheap laughs at the expense of these poor, lost folks. But not this time.

While I do believe that those who predict Judgment Day is five days away are laughably incorrect, I don’t believe they are crazy, at least not all of them.  I’ll call them misguided, misinformed, naive, and perhaps even too sheltered, but I can’t call them all crazy.  The ones that drive the doomsday trucks like this one:

Those people are fuckin’ bat-shit nuts.  Since we’re looking at this, please note the circle-slash 2012.  Our misguided friends that believe May21st 2011 is the correct date are in a strong conflict with the Christian / John Cusack film followers that believe December 2012 is the magic date for these events.

Now, I don’t know any Judgment Day supporters personally, but my guess is that they believe that their reasons for believing the end is coming are biblical and sound and good and 100% true.  Again, this is why I cant call them all crazy.

May 21 will come and go like any other day, I’m sure. And when we wake up on May 22, the various leaders of these various Judgment Day movements will have a perfectly ‘biblical’ explanations why all of us aren’t standing before God being judged.  I have some thoughts on this …which are similar to my thoughts on why I own no dog.

Here’s the part where I get sappy about the children….

There’s nothing funny about being misled, misguided, naive, and sheltered.   There’s nothing funny about these “true believers” quitting their jobs, draining their bank accounts or giving away their stuff. There’s nothing funny about kids believing and anticipating the end of the world.  I know that the little kids who believe in May 21st have what they consider to be “ faith in Jesus,”–but trust me, they are scared shitless. They’re nervous. Some of them aren’t sleeping. They’re asking lots of questions. They’re secretly hoping that it isn’t true. But they believe it is and their parents believe this.

And on May 22, while those of us who think that the May 21 Christians are crazy will probably be laughing or poking fun or explaining what we believe to be biblical reasons why they shouldn’t have put a date on God’s Judgment (I know I will!) the May 21st kids will be facing a “day of reckoning,” waking up to realize that their parents, priests, and theologies were somehow wrong. Many of those kids will lose something on Sunday. The questions that many of them will ask will get answered with lies, excuses or worse crappy biblical reasoning. Some of them will be angry with God for not bringing about the Judgment Day. Some of them will lose their faith and yet be unable to escape it due to their surroundings. There are also the ones that will go on like nothing happened and probably end up setting and believing in another date.

And there’s nothing funny about that.


  1. Hey Drue —

    So what did you end up doing on saturday 5/21 at 6PM????

    I had a Dominion Millennium…..

    til next apocalypse not-now,



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s